When someone talks about self-care what comes to your mind? Do you think it applies to you? Or do you think it is something meant for some other person? We often give in to the feeling, that we are already late to begin, and we feel the need to start big or we will miss out more. This is an illusion of an unhelpful kind.

As with all habits self care starts small. We lay small bricks towards the goal of taking care of ourselves everyday. Then we approach our destination. Not with big leaps, but with small steps.

Understanding small steps

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones is a book written by James Clear. It is one of the best books written on the topic of habits and it helped me build a solid morning routine. It is also available on Audible as an Audiobook.

Understand self-care

First of all self-care is simply treating yourself well. To find the best fit for your first step lets run an imaginative test, breaking down self care in size.

Imagine a row of boxes standing side by side, each box containing a different method of self-care. The first box is almost too big to reach open. Inside is a weekend in a luxurious spa. Someday, perhaps.

Then you continue on down the line opening boxes, each getting smaller and inside each is one thing that will make your life a little better some way. Healthy eating, exercising, drinking water… These are all acts of self-care.

You come to the tiniest box of the line, and open it. What do you see inside? What is the tiniest single act you can do to improve your life a little bit better? Now think of the smallest possible step forward. Something that brings ease, that soothes, that tends. Whatever it is you’re thinking of right now is maybe just the thing you need.

And do not stop there, go even tinier. Drinking some water first thing when you wake up is an act of self care. Standing up to stretch a litte, relaxing your muscles on your neck and shoulders and letting your forehead drop, speaking to yourself with compassion and understanding… Reading more to learn better ways of treating yourself well is also an act of self-care. Treat yourself with a three minute reading of Small Steps out of Perfection.

Now Relax

First close your eyes, then breathe. Take a deep breath then let your shoulders drop, find any tense muscles and relax them. Focus on your face, feel the sensations. You are a worthy individual, you woke up today deserving your attention to yourself. You deserve self care, you deserve self compassion, you woke up deserving these things.

The poet Hafiz wrote:

The Earth

Lifts its glass to the sun

And light -— light

is poured

So right now, as you’re reading this, make an intention to treat yourself well in the smallest, most tiniest ways. Lift your glass. Watch it filling with light.